Apparently there is a strike going on with my body right now and apparently I didn't get the memo.  My body has decided to fail me once again and not let me finish this God-forsaken cycle.  Why is it that my body can go on strike whenever it wants and I can't cross the freaking picket line?  Enough with the metaphors, where the hell is my fucking period?

I have had cramps for the past few days and feel like I might start it at any minute except that my temp is still above the coverline and it always drops significantly on the day that I get my period.  Tomorrow is 16 dpo.  Is this just the Femara "doing its job"?  I am now beginning to dig up those fears of Asherman's syndrome again because of course one of the symptoms is feeling like you should be getting your period (i.e. cramps), but not getting it.  Fabulous.  Something to keep me up at night again.

I went for a run outside in the rain after work today just because I needed to get out and express my anger.  I hoped I might knock AF loose.  Well obviously no luck in knocking her loose, but it was good to pound the pavement for almost an hour.  I used to run almost every day, but when I got pregnant the first time I was afraid that running "might cause a miscarriage" so I stopped.  Ha.  What a joke.  I wish preventing a miscarriage was as simple as not running.  I used to be a good runner and take part in camps and get first place in my age group.  I think I even got first place female in a race before.  Now I can barely run 5 miles.  Ok I can run 5 miles with no problem, but it now takes me 42 minutes instead of 37 1/2.

I am ready to end this silly day.  I am praying that tomorrow I'll wake up with bloody sheets.  Ok that's kind of gross, but you catch my drift.

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Normally, any women who is TTC does not want to get her period.  Now a woman who has recently had a miscarriage...it is all she thinks about.  When will I get my freaking period?!  Is there something wrong with me?!  Well AF finally came today and I was quite happy to see her.  Her visit means I can finally start moving forward again.

After my first m/c and d&c, I was not yet charting.  I really had no idea when or if I was ovulating and thus no idea when I would get my period.  The wait for my first AF after my first d&c seemed like an eternity.  My Google searches regularly consisted of "how long after a d&c will I get my period", "what is the normal amount of time it takes to get a period after a d&c", "is it normal to not have your period 6 weeks after a d&c".  My search results almost always included several hits regarding Asherman's Syndrome, which totally freaked me out.  From Ashermans.org, "Asherman's syndrome occurs when trauma to the endometrial lining triggers the normal wound-healing process, which causes the damaged areas to fuse together. Most commonly, intrauterine adhesions occur after a dilation and curettage (D&C) that was performed because of a missed or incomplete miscarriage, retained placenta with or without hemorrhage after a delivery, or elective abortion. Pregnancy-related D&Cs have been shown to account for 90% of Asherman's Syndrome cases."  At one point after my first d&c, I had convinced myself that I had Asherman's...then I got my period a few days later.

The cycle following this d&c has been different for 2 reasons.  First of all, I charted this cycle.  That has been the most helpful thing for me.  I knew that I ovulated and I knew that I was going to get AF today.  No surprises and no freaking myself out that I had Asherman's.  Secondly, this chart is starting to somewhat resemble that of a normal female's.  Yes, I still ovulated late, but not as late as usual and my luteal phase was a full 12 days with no spotting!  NORMAL!  I am not sure if it is the b6, the red raspberry leaf tea, the acupuncture, the yoga, or a combination of everything, but something is working.

For anyone who has had a miscarriage and a d&c, I would strongly recommend charting your bbt, taking opks, and checking CM with a tool like Fertility Friend.  That way you won't be guessing what is going on with your body.  Maybe you won't ovulate, but at least you'll know.

My temp took a nosedive this morning and I just knew AF would show up...she did.  My RE's office does not "believe" in charting.  When I called them up once to ask them a question about my chart they snidely replied that they don't believe that works and that temperatures are too variable.  I am glad that I did not listen to them and continued to chart...otherwise my yoga class this morning would have turned tragic.
:-)

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