Never give up!

Friday, August 9, 2013

I can't even believe that it has been a little over one year since I found out that I was pregnant with my baby B.  After so many months of testing and going through the pain of losing pregnancy after pregnancy, I finally got another positive pregnancy test and another hope of a take home baby.

Of course, the road through the pregnancy was long and uncertain.  I was never sure if my doctor's visit would yield a positive or negative outcome.  I developed serious anxiety around going to the doctor to the point where my blood pressure was borderline high.  Ultrasounds were the absolute worst.  Silence from the technician was my cue for tears. I was petrified to "graduate" from the RE to an OB because it might jinx my situation.  Each test was more reason for headaches, sweaty palms, and stomach aches.  The Doppler became my best friend and my worst enemy.  Food aversions and nausea also plagued the first half of my pregnancy.  Thyroid issues, shingles, diabetes, PUPPPs...made the second half of my pregnancy even less enjoyable.  Even in the last few weeks of my pregnancy I still worried that I might not get to see my baby.  Fears of still birth raided my dreams at night.

From the second that I saw my baby's face, I knew that everything that I went through was worth it.  All of the memories of struggle and heartache in the beginning and all of the trials and tribulations of pregnancy and childbirth were pushed to the back of my mind.  If you asked me a year ago at this time where I would be today, I would never have guessed that I would be a mommy to an almost 4 month old.  I was convinced that I would never be able to carry a baby to term, but also more determined than ever to prove myself wrong.

Some people have been following my blog for a while now and others have stumbled upon it recently while searching for info regarding long cycles and late ovulation.  Still others seem to land here via a random Google search about miscarriages, looking for hope that their situation might have been experienced by someone else out in the universe who has ultimately been able to have a healthy baby.  My message to anyone looking for advice, guidance, or support would be this: never give up!  The journey my not always be easy.  There may be many bumps in the road.  There may be unexpected twists and turns.  There may be sadness and heartache, too.  Your journey may be easier or harder than mine.  Everyone's is different.  I think that it was all worth everything that I went through, for me anyways.

I wish anyone who reads this blog and is going through the same crap that I went through, the best of luck.  As always, I love hearing from people and though I might not always be the fastest to respond these days, I will write back to you!  Any support that I can give you, I will!


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4 Responses to “Never give up!”

  1. It's crazy it's been a year, and I'm so happy for you that you made it through. For us the anniversary is next month; we were hoping to go back to her place of conception on the anniversary of the date of conception, but we can't; we'll be there the week of getting the positive test instead. A real moment to celebrate!

  2. Could have written this myself...I didn't think I would ever have another baby after all those so happy for you!

  3. just stumbled across your blog doing a search for femera. i lost my first son due to pre term labor in March at 22 weeks. it was horrible. We have been TTC again for 5 months now, and i'm not ovulating and also have thryoid problems so my dr recommended femera. i'm going to start it this month and i'm nervous. I conceived my first son naturally with no problems, so this is all hard to take in. I haven't gotten all through your blog but I see you now have a baby son. congrats, that is so wonderful. I haven't read or not if it was the femara that helped you conceive or not, but either way, i'm glad to hear you had a successful pregnancy after a loss. I hope that happens to me too.

    1. Kelly- the short version of the story is yes, the Femara did help me! On the 3rd cycle we got pregnant with B. I had no side effects from the drug and B is a perfectly healthy 4.5 month old. Feel free to email me if you have any more questions! I'd be more than happy to chat with you more about my experiences!