Seven hundred and forty nine days...

Thursday, July 24, 2014

...and it seems like she never left.  Good old Auntie Flo has returned just a short two years and 19 days after she said goodbye.  Just 7 days after getting a positive opk, which leads to a whole separate blog post, I'm sure, and while still breastfeeding about 4-6 times a day.  Oh how I haven't missed buying boxes of tampons and overnight pads.  The cramps and the bloating.  The mood swings and lack of patience.  The start of a fresh new Fertility Friend chart and the wonder if my body and its respective reproductive parts are working correctly.  Ahhhh the good old times.

 I somewhat begrudgingly told my husband about the return of my period and his response was:
"Well it's better than the alternative."

"You mean better than me going more days without it?  It has been kind of nice not having a period for 2 years."

"No.  Better than if you were pregnant."

"Oh yeah, I guess."

Me (thinking to myself):
"Tell me how you really feel."

Pretty much every memory of getting pregnant, being pregnant, and having my baby were terrible, BUT the result was simply amazing.  My little boy has gone from a little ball of cells on an ultrasound screen to an amazingly curious, fun, loving, and smart 15 month old boy.  Even with everything that I have been through, and knowing everything that I know now, I would not change anything because I have my baby B.  This is precisely why I can't just shut the door on having another child...someday.

My husband and I were walking this past weekend and somehow the subject of another child came up and he was quite clear about the fact that he is good with one child.  Right now, I feel the same way.  I am in no rush to have another due to finances, our schedules, my body issues (that I am dealing with in counseling), money, etc.  If circumstances were to change, however, I might be willing to reconsider.  My husband feels that B is super challenging (which he is, to some extent, but I think that most babies are challenging) and that we wouldn't be able to handle another.  Yes, I don't think we could right now.  Next year?  The year after?  Maybe?  So much can change in 2 and point...a little over 2 years ago I was sitting here wondering if I would ever be able to have a child.  Now I have one and I love the living daylights out of him.  I can't imagine life any other way.  Who knows what the next few years will bring us?  I think I just want to let things ride and see where we end up. 

Time is such a very wondrous thing.  Happy Thursday and Happy AF me. 

My love

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