This morning started off really shitty and then just got shittier.  It was raining, but not pouring rain.  It was the type of misty rain that you didn't really need an umbrella for, but if you didn't use one your makeup would look like Kiss and your hair would look like Medusa.  Yuck.  The weather around here has been so crappy lately.  Rainy, cloudy, misty, cool, damp...yuck.  It is these kinds of days that I just want to stay in bed.

I had my mini-umbrella (I have a G.ust B.uster for the pouring rain kind of days), slip-on sneakers (I have my snazzy C.oach rain boots for the pouring rain kind of days), and my waterproof rain jacket.  I took the train and thankfully it was on time.  When I got into the city it was still misting, but not full-out raining, so I decided to walk the almost 1 mile to work to get some exercise.  Not sure if you see where this is heading yet, but you may be able to connect the dots...

About half-way through the walk, I had an unfortunate accident.  I was taking a shortcut through a fenced off area of tables (I do it all the time) and I hurriedly went to step over the short fence when my left foot decided to slip out from under me, rendering me smack on my back on the wet and dirty brick walkway.  There were no people around as I commute in early, but a bus full of people and some cars driving by most definitely caught my spill.  I was embarrassed, yes.  No one likes to take a public tumble.

***TIMEOUT***  Now I have fallen many times walking to and from work.  Fallen up and down the stairs at the subway.  I have slipped on ice and started crying many times.  I have tripped over loose bricks and stones in walkways.  I have also gone to trip, but caught myself before actually toppling over even more times.  I wouldn't say that I am klutzy, but I have had my moments because I walk very, very, fast.  I am the kind of person that tourists fear.  I'll run you over if you are possibly going to make me late for work or my train.  Move over people...hustling commuter coming through.  I don't stop for anyone so get out of my way.  I think I could be a race walker.  No one at work likes walking with me because I walk so fast!  ***BACK TO THIS MORNING***

At first I just pulled myself up, wiped my dirty hands off, and carefully stepped over the fence.  I started walking, kind of stunned, and then I remembered, "You asshole.  You are pregnant."  Then I imagined my baby stunned and clinging to life because I felt the need to hustle to work so I could get there at 7:12 AM instead of 7:15 AM.  That image made me tear up.  I felt like punching myself in the face.

I held it together until I got to work.  Then I started to get upset.  I called my husband and had trouble getting out words.  "Slipped...fell...baby...hurt(?)...calling...doctor...".  He tried to get me to calm down, but at this point I was inconsolable.  So pissed at myself for giving this baby yet another potential obstacle to overcome.

I literally stared at my computer screen for 45 minutes.  As soon as the clock turned 8:00 AM, I dialed the doctor.  Of course they were already jammed up so I left a frantic and tearful message.  I begged them to see me.  Luckily the nurse called me back less than an hour later.  She told me that there was almost no chance that I did any damage to the baby with the way that I fell (on my back as opposed to my stomach) and how early it was but she agreed that it would be best to have me come in so I could be checked out.

I left work immediately after writing a quick note to my boss and made the 40 minute trek to the hospital.  I was so petrified that I would fall again that I was walking like a 90 year old lady.  I don't think my eyes left the pavement for one minute.

Once I got to the hospital, I sat and waited for about 45 minutes.  I didn't even care though.  I just wanted to be seen.  My friend, B just happened to be there with her mom for her 30 week NST.  It was so comforting to see her.  Not sure what it was, but just seeing her made me calm down.  She went in for her appointment and came out and I was still waiting.  She and her mom waited with me until I was finally called.  (If you are reading this...B, thank you and love you!!).

They took my blood pressure, which was more normal, finally!  118/66.  I also did another pee sample.  Then the nurse asked me questions about my fall and got out the mini-ultrasound machine.  There was baby, happily moving arms and legs.  Little heart beating away, blissfully unaware of the tumultuous morning that I had had.  I felt so much better.  The nurse told me to slow down and be careful.  I knew this.  Hearing it helped to cement it into my thick skull.

While I was there I mentioned to the doctor that I had been having back pain for the past week or so (worse at night).  She recommended a urine culture to make sure I didn't have a kidney infection, so I went back to the bathroom to pee.  Luckily I can almost pee on command at this point with my small bladder and the amount of water I drink.  She told me that they would call me if it was positive, but she didn't think I had an issue.

I left there feeling good.  Glad I went there.  Happy they treated me so well.  Happy to see my little baby.  Happy that the day was getting better.  I walked back to work and then back to the train in the afternoon, very carefully.  I even let some other commuters pass me (which, I will admit, did bother me), but I tried to keep picturing that little baby, swimming away in my uterus.  All the incentive I needed.