I'm back!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I totally forgot that my trip to see my family was coinciding with this month's ICLW that I signed up for.  I was wondering why I was getting so many random comments until I saw that one mentioned ICLW.  Ooops.  I am a little bit behind in my commenting and blogging, but I promise that I will make up for it this week!

I am going to pull some bullets here to catch up on some things for this post, but if I have time later I think I'll start into one of the posts that I have wanted to write about since last week. 

  • My trip to see my family was really nice.  I got to celebrate my little sister's sweet 16 and the work that I thought would be ready for me to complete while I was there wasn't done in time so I didn't really have to do much except for respond to a few emails via BlackBerry.  I hung out with my Mom and Grandma mostly, but also got to spend some quality time with my two brothers and sister that still live at home.  We went out for lunch and went for some walks on the bike trail.  The weather was nice on a few days so we got to enjoy the lovely fall colors.  Yesterday, right before my flight back home, I asked my Mom to stop by the florist so that I could get some flowers to put on my Dad's grave.  Yesterday was what would have been his 56th birthday.  My Grandma (his Mom) went with us, but had a really tough time being at the cemetery.  She had not been there since his funeral 6 1/2 years ago.  It was hard to see her crying because she is usually so strong.  I was glad that I went though.  I know he isn't really there, but I felt like he was, in spirit.
  • So far I have completed 2 therapy sessions with my new therapist.  So far, I really like her.  She is an older lady who has an extremely calming personality.  Her office overlooks a pond, so it is very peaceful there.  The first visit she spent mostly getting to know me and the second visit she focused more on getting my anxiety (surrounding pregnancy) under control with some guided deep meditation.  She also helped me deal with the small amount of anxiety that I was feeling about flying in general and flying while pregnant.  It really helped me because I did not have my usual anxiety-ridden flight.   My next appointment is Nov. 1.  I really am starting to feel way more relaxed, in general.  I am not sure if it is the therapy or just the natural progression of things.
  • I found out a week and a half ago that the friend that I mentioned in a previous post that was pregnant and due in May after 5 miscarriages and 1 live birth (from IVF), had yet another miscarriage.  She went in for her 8 week ultrasound and the baby had no heartbeat.  She ended up having a D&C yesterday (her 4th).  I feel so bad for her.  I know exactly how she is feeling, yet I wasn't sure what to say to her when I found out.  How do you console someone who is losing their 6th baby?  I let her know that I am here for her and sent her some flowers.  I am hoping to walk with her at the end of the week.  She is amazingly strong and is going in to her fertility clinic today to try to get some answers.  I really hope they can give her some hope.
  • I got the second part of my quad-screen blood taken last Tuesday.  I arrived at the hospital right at 7 AM hoping to get in and out.  Turns out that I had the wrong paperwork and the lab would not draw my blood until I had the right papers.  I had to wait until 8 AM until the doctor's office opened so that they could give me the correct paperwork.  Annoying, yes.  End of the world, no.  I think we get the results next Tuesday...gulp.
  • I am now about 15 1/2 weeks as of today.  I still haven't really wrapped my head around things yet. Am I really pregnant still?  Is this possibly going to work out?  The day before yesterday, right before I woke up, I felt what may have been the first flutters of the little Button.  I am still suspicious that it is the little one and not just gas bubbles or something, but it feels like what my Mom and others have described.  Almost like fish swimming around in there.  It is a very surreal feeling.  I still haven't told many people that I am pregnant yet.  I just don't feel like I can go and spread the news around yet without feeling uncomfortable.  Telling my relatives and family friends over the weekend was super hard for me.  I feel like I just don't have the right to be telling people.  I know, I am crazy.
  • Finally...ICLWers: Hi!  Apologies for the late into.  You can find out more about me here and here.  I promise to get around to commenting, responding to comments, and blogging for real this week.  I hope everyone is doing well.  I am excited to catch up!!

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13 Comments »

13 Responses to “I'm back!”

  1. Hey Welcome back! I'm glad you had such a good trip and that work didn't take up all of your time.

    I am so so sorry for your friend. I completely understand, there really isn't a right thing to say.

    It is so cool that you are feeling button move in there! I'm anxious to here about your quad screen results.

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    1. Thanks! It always feels nice to be back and see my husband and pets again. I missed them! I also ate way too much crappy food that I am not used to that they eat there...fried chicken & potatoes, ice cream, fattening foods, sweets. Ugh! I am in detox this week. I finally had a salad today for the first time in 3 months since the thought of a raw piece of spinach doesn't make me want to gag!

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    2. mmm sounds good! I like to think I am a fairly health conscious person but sometimes I like to just pig out on really bad for me tasty food!

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  2. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend! I can't imagine going through this hell more than once or after going through IVF.

    Welcome back, though! I'm glad you had a good trip.

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    1. Thank you! The strength that some people have to be able to endure this so many times amazes me.

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  3. Wow, my heart goes out to your friend. I can't imagine experiencing so much loss.

    I hope that you will have a health and happy pregnancy. You definitely have a right to be.

    They say one of the biggest factors that determine's therapy's success is the client-therapist relationship, so it's great that you found someone you feel comfortable with. I have had mixed experiences with therapists (some great, one not so great) and I'm a psychologist myself (although I don't do therapy).

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    1. I have been to some therapists in the past that I have not connected with for one reason or another. I guess I must have gotten lucky this time. I definitely wanted someone who was older for some reason, so I looked on Psychology Today and saw her picture. That helped me to pick her (along with reading about her specialties).

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  4. Happy ICLW and congratulations on your pregnancy! Thank you for stopping by my own little home on the web. Wishing you a happy and healthy 24 1/2 more weeks!

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  5. Oh my gosh, I just can't beleieve you are almost 16 weeks! That is just crazy! So pumped for you....I am glad you were at the cemetery yesterday with your family. I am sure being together gives your Grandma strength.

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    1. Awww thanks! I am still trying to wrap my head around things over here. Someday maybe it will sink in that I am actually still pregnant.

      It was hard to see my Grandma so upset yesterday, but I also think that she hasn't ever really let her true emotions out. I think it may have helped her to go to the cemetery with us and to cry a little. Sometimes after a good cry I feel better.

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  6. Oh, makes me so sad to hear about your grandma crying at the cemetary. I'm glad you were able to spend time with her, your mom, and your siblings. I'm also really, really sorry about your friend's 6th m/c. I cannot imagine.

    But...SO excited for you that you might be starting to feel the baby! That is so cool!

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  7. Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope you have a relaxing and uneventful 25 more weeks!

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