I wasn't worried about the c-section surgery, itself.  I was more concerned with what would happen afterwards because I know that the recovery time is much longer than a vaginal birth.  I knew that I could not hold my baby afterwards.  I knew that I would have trouble breastfeeding.  I knew it would take longer for me to get back into shape.  As they wheeled me to the surgery room, I just cried.  I just didn't know what else to do.  More challenges I was not sure how I could deal with.

When I got to the room, I remember the bright lights, just like when I had my D&Cs.  They transferred me from the hospital bed to an operating table that was incredible uncomfortable.  Soon they shot me up with stronger epidural meds so that made the discomfort slightly less.  The had my arms stretched out to the sides of my body on planks and they put up a curtain right in front of my chest.  My husband sat beside me and held my hand.  Several doctors stood behind me and several more behind the curtain.  I am not sure exactly how many doctors were there in the room, but it was at least 5, if not more.  There were also several nurses.  The lead doctor performing the surgery was the doctor who I had the Cytotec run-in with.  Figures, right?

Once the epidural took effect, I started to relax a little.  Things started moving pretty fast.  They explained to me that I would feel some pressure, pulling, and tugging and that this was normal.  I felt all of those things.  Several minutes later, I heard the main operating doctor's tone of voice change from normal to slightly frantic.  Apparently the baby's head really was stuck in my pelvis (hence the pain).  It took one doctor pushing the baby from the bottom (yes from my vag) and another pulling the baby to dislodge him.  They did do the delayed clamping that I had requested and then cut the cord.  The baby then started crying, but it wasn't the robust cry that I had imagined, like waaaaaaaaah, waaaaaaaaaah, waaaaaaaaah.  It was more like a wah......wah......wah.  My husband and I both cried.  He was alive.  This was what I had waited more than 2 years for.  It made everything seem so worth it.  This was our baby.

They took him to clean him off, weigh and measure him, to do the Apgar test, and get his vitals.  He weighed 9 lb, 2 oz and was 21 1/2 inches long.  Quite the big boy.  He scored a 9 on the Apgar.  After they were done with this they brought him over to my husband and my husband brought him over to me.  I gave him a kiss, but it was at this time that I started feeling really bad.  I was shaking pretty uncontrollably and I started feeling really, really drowsy.  They shot my left shoulder with some clotting medicine and it made me really sick to my stomach.  I felt like I was going to throw up, but since my stomach was still out in the open, it was a very disturbing feeling and I never actually threw up.  The doctors started sounding really serious and rushing all around.  The blood pressure cuff on my right arm was going off every minute or 2.  I could see my blood pressure dropping with each check on the monitor screen and this made me seriously anxious.  I started hyperventilating and frantically turning my head from side to side and looking at the screen with my vital signs.  The my blood pressure was lower every time I looked.  They told me to focus on my baby, but I could not.  I was fixated on my dropping blood pressure and I knew something was wrong.  At one point it was 80/50.  I felt like I was going to pass out.  I tried so hard to keep my eyes open, but they kept closing.  I was going in and out.  I was so afraid to close my eyes because I was afraid they wouldn't open again. They ended up giving me oxygen and several more of the sickening clotting shots in various places on my body.

I came to find out that my uterus would not contract after they pulled the baby out and I was bleeding like crazy.  Apparently, due to the fact that I had labored and pushed for so long, my uterus was extremely irritated.  It took them a long time to get things under control.  To me it seemed like an eternity.  Once my organs were put back in and I was stapled together, They declared the surgery a "success" and moved me back to the hospital bed.  They wheeled me back to my room.  I was shaking so badly.  I could not control it.  I wasn't cold, either, it was very odd.  I was quite out of it and kept forgetting why I was there.  I was so doped up on morphine and other meds that I almost forgot about my perfect little miracle baby.

This is when I started the long recovery process.  I had absolutely no idea what I was in for.