A mistake

Friday, December 28, 2012

I have a confession to make, I still surf through various forums that I used to frequent when I was right in the thick of dealing with my fertility issues.  Sometimes I leave comments and offer support and other times I just read.  For some reason, I still feel very much connected to those ladies that are going through issues that are similar to what I experienced, much more than the pregnancy forums.

Last week I was doing some surfing through one of the fertility forums and I saw a message from a familiar girl who is still in the thick of her battle with infertility and loss.  Her post really broke my heart.  She has had 2 losses (one around the time of my 3rd), gone through several rounds of C.lomid with TI, and gone through several rounds of C.lomid with IUI.  She has yet to have success.  Her doctor switched her to F.emara, but her insurance doesn't cover it so it cost her $200 for a one month dosage.  Her post alluded to the fact that she could no longer afford the meds and was thinking of giving up because she was going broke.

Well, I really felt bad for her and wanted to do something to help.  I had an unused bottle of letrozole in my closet that was just collecting dust, so I decided the right thing to do would be to donate it to her since she has a prescription.  After all, it expires in July and so I would not be able to use it.  It also cost me about $2 with my insurance.  

I contacted her and told her about the good deed I wanted to do, and she was very thankful and receptive.  She gave me her address and I told her I would send it after the holidays.  I felt like I was paying it forward.

I mentioned to my husband what I was going to do and he cautioned me not to do it, saying it wasn't legal, yadda, yadda, yadda.  I didn't really put much stock into what he was saying.  I was donating fertility meds to a girl who needed them and had a prescription, but could not afford the prescription.  How could that be illegal?  I didn't think anything more about it, until today...

I was getting ready to mail the package, when I saw a tiny label on the side of the medication saying that it was a federal offense to transfer the prescription in the bottle to anyone other than to whom it was prescribed, originally.  There was no by-clause regarding the transferee having a prescription and then transferring.   That made me a little nervous, so I of course consulted free legal advice from G.oogle.  Turns out, my husband was right.  I didn't have to go vary far into my research to find a ton of information on how what I was doing was extremely illegal.  I decided at that point to forgo the donation because the idea of spending time in a federal prison doesn't sound like something I would want to do.

I went back and forth on deciding whether to email the girl to tell her that I was not going to send her the meds.  I don't know her, I have no idea who she really is.  I could just disappear and that would be it.  I decided that I couldn't do that though.  I needed to woman-up and explain to her why I wasn't sending the meds and apologize, profusely. 

Writing the email was really hard (and I am sure it was even harder for her to receive).  I felt terrible.  Like a complete piece of shit.  I got her hopes up and then just totally shot them down.  I knew I was doing the right thing legally, but was I doing the right thing morally?  Why is it that rich people or people with good insurance can get their medications with no issue, but people who work hard for a living can't?  Why can't people donate their fertility medications to others who have legal prescriptions for them?  It makes me so mad and sad all at the same time.  I was just trying to help and I ended up screwing everything up in the process.  Stupid.

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6 Responses to “A mistake”

  1. Always best to follow your gut. You never know who is on the receiving end and what consequences could follow. If you knew this person and had a more friendly relationship, I think it would be a different story - but sending a package to a complete stranger is risky. You made the right choice - it is true, insurance and who is covered and who isn't is just unfair.

  2. Oh man, yeah, it's much easier face to face. I donated all my unused meds back to my fertility clinic as they give the donations to people who need it.

  3. I agree with Amanda. I would happily send some unused drugs to a friend in this community whom I know and trust, but sending it to someone you don't know at all is different. I imagine how hard it was to write that e-mail, though, and how bad you must feel. That poor girl. Infertility is so hard without having to worry about how to afford it. I really hope something works out for her.

  4. You did the right thing, as much as it sucks. :(

  5. Oh man, that does suck. Your heart was in the right place....but I agree it's different for someone you don't know. The whole thing just sucks.

  6. I still go back to some of my old groups, too. I just can't leave.
    Too bad about the meds...you were trying to do the right thing. But better safe than sorry.