It's that joyful time of year

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Thanks for all of the comments/feedback.  After thinking it over, I decided that I am not going to stop blogging.  I am going to try to let myself be a little more open with my thoughts and my ideas.  I need this space for me.  It helps to get out my thoughts and I really love interacting with others who really get it.

I am still on the fence about commenting though.  I have a core group of ladies blogs that I comment on regularly.  They comment on mine.  I consider them friends...real friends, even though I have never met any of them in person.  I feel like I really do know them.  I feel comfortable commenting on their blogs.  I think that limiting my blog list and stopping "drive by" commenting, even where friend bloggers solicit support for their blogger friends or I feel like I really get what the person is experiencing, is the way to go.  I don't ever want my comments to be taken the wrong way and I never have had the intention of hurting another blogger and if they don't know me or really know where I have come from then I guess this is possible.  Hopefully this is the last I'll be writing about this because this space is supposed to be for blogging about loss and pregnancy after loss and not blogging about blogging!

This past weekend, my husband and I sent out holiday cards which I created through V.ista P.rint.  I have been creating yearly cards (and sometimes calendars) for friends and family.  My cards, up until this year, have consisted of my furbaby family.  It has always been my year-long goal of getting them together for a picture where they are all looking at the camera.  As you can see, last year I succeeded, naturally!



Last year around the holidays was tough for us.  We had our second miscarriage in the middle of December.  Holiday cards flooded my mailbox with pictures of new babies and happy families.  It was a tough pill to swallow.  My mom came up to help me through it (this was my only natural miscarriage so I wasn't sure how hard it would be).  She was amazing through everything.  She made me tea and watched K.eeping up with the K.ardashian's with me.  She also helped me bake cookies, which is something that I love to do.  At Christmas, I make 13-15 different kinds on my own.  I bake for 3 days straight and then deliver (or mail) bags and boxes to my friends and family.  Since I wasn't feeling very festive last year, my mom helped me make about 6 different doughs before she left.  Somehow I managed the strength to get all 15 cookies mixed, baked, frosted, decorated, bagged, boxed, mailed, and delivered.  Not sure where that drive came from as I bled heavily.  Maybe it was a defense mechanism?

This year my husband and I decided that we had been withholding the news of this little guy for too long.  Even though we will never feel comfortable with things regarding this pregnancy, we decided to combine our yearly card (with furbabies, too) with a baby/gender announcement.  Let me tell you, as I created and ordered the cards, I was filled with fear.  I was filled with even more fear on Saturday and I addressed and stuffed the envelopes.  What if this doesn't work out?  What if something bad happens in the last 18 or so weeks?  To me, it seems like I have been trying to hide this pregnancy, even at 21 1/2 weeks.  Still worried that I might lose the baby.  The truth is, nothing is certain.  No one can guarantee me a baby in a few months.  I need to accept that.  I also need to accept the fact that I am visibly pregnant.  Pregnant enough where strangers tell me congrats and where my co-workers tell me I "look so big".  There is always a chance that something will go wrong.  Sending out a card isn't going to make the chance any higher (man miscarriage has made me so superstitious!).  It is what it is.  What will be will be.

So this year we sent out cards and included our whole family and we are hoping and praying for the best in 2013.  :)


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10 Responses to “It's that joyful time of year”

  1. Love the card!! I hope 2012 brings the best for all of us. Also, you've inspired me to bake some Christmas cookies. Thank you.

  2. Look at those adorable pets! So so sweet.

  3. Oh, this warms my heart. I'm glad you are embracing your pregnancy and sharing your news. As a huge animal lover, I gotta say that you have some BEAUTIFUL fur babies, too!

  4. Oh my gosh, I love the card. You are right, by telling people or sending a card, it doesn't increase odds of something bad happening. What will be will be and you are doing great and keeping both of you healthy.

  5. Gorgeous card! What a lovely way to tell people. Also, great news that you are feeling better about the blogging. Please know that yours is the only pregnancy related blog that I read and right up until 12 weeks, you were the only person (aside from DH and health professionals) that I had told about this pregnancy. I hope that gives you an idea of how valuable your blog and correspondence has been to me! Happy baking! Alix xx

  6. What a great card. I'm so glad that you've realized it's time to share your joyous news. And you're right -- sharing it won't change a thing. What will be will be. But I really think what will be is a fabulous new year for you, with the greatest blessing of all!

  7. That card made me cry! AWESOME ;) Good for you for having the courage to do that.

  8. First of all, your animals are so cute! And that is a lot of cookies, like my dreams come true amount of cookies. I may need to take a sick month from work and bake!

    Second, your card is so sweet. I love it. I am so glad you are starting to tell everyone, I know it is hard and there are no guarantees but you are getting there! You are over half way and I know your friends and family will be so happy for you guys!

  9. What a beautiful card!! :) Like you, I am superstitious. I thought about doing a card, but won't be 12 weeks until Christmas Day...and for some reason the thought of sending those out before 12 weeks just freaks me out!

    Can I just say, I can't believe you are more than halfway through already. Wow! Where has the time gone?

  10. Love your three little friends, especially the 2011 line-up. Well, especially the 2012 line-up ... the little one on the right balances out the mix perfectly! I'm so glad you are taking this step and sharing your news. You are right that anything could happen, but what I keep telling myself is that anything could always happen, to anybody, whether born or unborn. And the odds are that your little one has a wonderful long life ahead of him - something to be celebrated! xo