Today has been a much better day than yesterday was.  Last night after work I did have another breakdown.  I'll get to what brought this on in a minute (yesterday basically sucked, big time).  Luckily I have some really awesome and amazing friends.  I went over to one of my friend's houses last night and when I got there I was crying.  When I left, I was laughing.  I am so lucky to have the support that I have so close to me.  :)

Last night I did an experiment.  I woke up at 12:30 PM and had a snack of 1 graham cracker w/ a heap of peanut butter, sprinkled with cinnamon.  This morning my blood sugar reading was 89 (barely under 90, but I made it!!).  I had breakfast and cut out the raspberries.  I had a little more peanut butter.  My 1 hour reading was 107 and I had minimal issue getting blood out of my finger (yesterday it was 131, should be under 140).  Baby steps, I guess.

I have an appointment scheduled with my Endo for Monday.  I am probably being overly cautious, but I do not want to do anything that might put this poor babe in harm's way.

A few other non-related to GD topics:

Baby Shower
The reason why I was so upset last night has to do with one of my 4 showers (yes, I had 4 wedding showers and now I am having 4 baby showers, too).  The shower is being thrown by MIL/SIL, which is very nice of them, don't get me wrong.  A few months back, my husband contacted them because he was concerned that there wasn't going to be a shower.  Period.  MIL said she would plan something with their side of the family, where she lives (several hours away), but stated that she had plenty of time to work out the details.  I knew nothing about this.  A few weeks ago my sisters let me know that they were scheduling one for me, near my house.  My mom also told me that she was having a proxy shower for me in my hometown that I obviously will not be attending.

Originally, the MIL/SIL shower was going to be the second week of Feb., so I booked to have maternity photos taken at the same time at MIL's house.  Then they changed it to 1/26, then to 1/27, then back to 1/26, so I have to cancel the photo shoot.  They sent out virtual invites and FB invites last week.  Call me old fashioned, but that made me upset.  Like they didn't have the time or desire to make real ones.  They invited some of my friends that live near me, this week.  They invited friends that were already invited to other shower, which was confusing to my friends and they felt bad for not being able to attend since they had not yet received the other paper invite from my sisters.  They didn't invite other MIL (husband's step mother).  After sending out the virtual invites they changed the date.  They haven't asked for my input on food so I probably won't be able to eat anything.  Yesterday SIL informed me that only 6 people can make it to that shower (not including MIL/SIL) and she was wondering if I wanted to just cancel it.  None of my FIL's side can make it apparently.  How depressing.  I am not even sure what to do about this situation.  I don't want to go anymore.  I am not sure why they even offered to throw a shower if they were not really interested in putting thought into it.  Ugh.

Another Pregnancy Announcement
Those of you that have been following my blog for a while might remember me mentioning a girl at work who really upset me when she commented on my "size" after my first miscarriage.  Basically she asked me if I was pregnant in front of other co-workers after I had already told her, behind closed doors when she asked, that I was not.  I was humiliated by that.  She has since apologized and I have moved on.  She has become a friend actually and was very supportive earlier on in my pregnancy, surprisingly.

Over the past few months we have talked about her and her lack of a desire to get pregnant, but her husband having the opposite desire.  She talked about her reasons for not wanting kids, none of which I could ever relate to.  They have money.  She is my age, but still likes to party and go out regularly.  She used to smoke.  She doesn't eat that healthy and exercises sporadically, but she is really thin and pretty.

I found out today from another co-worker that sits by her that she is pregnant.  13 weeks or so.  She hasn't mentioned it to me.  I was supposed to have lunch with her today, where I assumed she would tell me, but she cancelled at the last minute saying she had to meet with a Realtor.

Hearing news of the pregnancy made me insanely jealous.  She hadn't been trying for long at all, based on our earlier discussions.  She didn't even want to get pregnant and didn't really know how she felt about being a mom and losing her "freedom".

I'll end this with the email trail that husband and I shared this morning regarding this discovery...


From: D
Sent: Friday, January 18, 2013 8:48 AM
To: Husband
Subject: RE: update
I was right…over 12 weeks preggo…  is it bad that it kind of stings?

From: Husband
Sent: Friday, January 18, 2013 9:54 AM
To: D
Subject: RE: update
I don’t understand this comment, right about what?  What stings?

From: D
Sent: Friday, January 18, 2013 9:58 AM
To: Husband
Subject: RE: update
I was right that she is pregnant.  Just that it was so easy for her and she didn’t really want it that bad to begin with.  Also because she isn’t the healthiest.  I dunno.  It is irrational.  This is why I see a therapist.

From: Husband
Sent: Friday, January 18, 2013 10:05 AM
To: D
Subject: RE: update
I don’t think it’s irrational at all.  It’s not a feeling you want to dwell on or think about too much, but it’s not irrational.  Just be happy with where we’re at.  I’d rather have gone through what we have gone through and have a baby who is going to be adored than to be on the fence about it and then be stuck with a baby like it or not.  Very soon we will have a beautiful little baby boy and nothing else in the world will matter.

From: D
Sent: Friday, January 18, 2013 10:07 AM
To: Husband
Subject: RE: update
This is one of the many reasons why I love you. :-)

From: Husband
Sent: Friday, January 18, 2013 10:07 AM
To: D
Subject: RE: update
I love you too, sooo much. :-)