I can honestly say that this is a post that I was never really sure that I would ever have the opportunity to write.  If you would have asked me back in March if I thought I would ever be able to use myself and 12 weeks in the same sentence I would have really struggled to answer the question.  I am almost in shock that I am here.  So grateful, so happy, but still so nervous.

I cry a little bit on most days, probably due a lot to my wacky hormones.  Usually the crying is due to my thankfulness of where I am right now and thinking back to where I was last year at this time.  I also cry out of guilt.  I cry because of my friends that I know that are trying and trying with no luck.  I cry for my friends that continue to experience loss after loss with no explanations.  I cry for my friends that are in pregnancy limbo and waiting for news.  I cry because it is all so unfair.

I struggle with how and when to write updates about this pregnancy.  I know that I want to document this for my memory, as well as for anyone else who might be reading this.  I want to give women who have been dealing with similar situations to my own, hope.  I know I always look to posts regarding early pregnancy.  For some reason it helps me to feel better about where I am.  So here goes with how things are going for me at 12 weeks.

At 12 weeks I am just starting to show.  I can't button my normal pants anymore and have been wearing mostly dresses and stretchy skirts to work.  I bought a band to put over my regular pants, but I have not yet tried it because it has been warm enough to wear skirts/dresses to work.  Maybe next week.

My symptoms at this point mostly consist of nausea most of the day, constipation, & general tiredness.  Also, today my left eye has started twitching.  Not sure if this is or isn't related to pregnancy, but it is very annoying!  I am also still getting up a lot to go to the bathroom and my upper back has been hurting.  I am thinking it is because my small rack, has increased by a size or two and is making me slouch.

My TSH is back to the normal range and down to 1.24 thanks to the meds!  Also, all of my other thyroid tests came back normal (including anti-thyroid antibody), so that is one less thing for me to worry about at this point.  I have another appointment with the endocrinologist at he end of October for my follow-up.

I have my NT exam on Tuesday afternoon.  I am pretty nervous about this.  I know they will do the scan first and then take blood.  I am hoping and praying that everything goes well with this exam because it is taking everything in me not to tell my grandma!  She is the person that I have been wanting to tell about this baby so much.  I know how badly she wants to become a great grandmother.  She knows nothing of our struggles or miscarriages because I didn't want to give her bad news (all she gets at her age is news of people dying or getting terminal illnesses so I have felt the need to protect her).  I will also finally tell my boss if things go well.  Then she will understand why I have been "working from home" a lot lately.

I have been using the doppler once or twice a week since that first night a few weeks ago.  I can now find the baby pretty fast, but not for very long because he (I am thinking boy) moves a lot.  He also kicks.  If you want to see some picture/video updates, click here and then scroll to the bottom.  Please keep my in your thoughts and prayers next week.