Ultrasound #3

Friday, September 7, 2012

I will start this post by saying that I had a really tough time last night and this morning.  Last night I had trouble eating due to anxiety and all I wanted to do after work was lie around on the couch and watch HGTV (my security blanket).  I napped for an hour or so and then poked my boobs to see if they were still sore because I am nuts (they were, kind of).

I didn't get a lot of sleep last night due to my regular trips to the bathroom and wacky bizarre dreams.  I laid in bed at one point just thinking about everything and wondering how I would deal with a not-so-great ultrasound.  I said a ton of prayers.  I bargained with God.  I tried to talk to my Dad.  Then I started to think about my 3 angels there with my Dad and I suddenly felt a little bit better.  I could seriously picture him sitting on a couch with 3 babies.  It made me smile and I was able to drift off to sleep again.

When I woke up I had to drag myself out of bed.  I thought about ways that I could get out of the ultrasound, but knew I really needed and wanted to go and make sure everything was ok.  I got myself ready and choked down half a muffin and an apple.  On the drive to the hospital I chugged about 16 ounces of water.  Then I had to pee...really bad.

My sister was planning on meeting us at the hospital at 7:30 AM in our usual meeting spot.  My sister has become my other security blanket.  As my husband and I were pulling into the garage to park, I got a text from my sis telling me her alarm didn't go off and that she had just gotten up.  I started to panic because she has been my good luck charm.  She has helped my husband and I to be positive for the past few weeks.  I tried to breathe deeply and I sent her a text telling her to pray for me.

We got to the ultrasound waiting room early and I sat there uncomfortably, nervous and feeling like I was going to pee my pants at any minute.  When they called me right at 8, I was so happy to finally be able to go to the bathroom soon!

The tech was one that I had never had before.  She seemed nice and sensed my anxiety right away.  She asked my why I was going for such an early ultrasound and I rattled on about my miscarriage riddled past.  She squirted the gel and started pressing with the wand and I kind of shuddered in pain.  It hurt so bad because my bladder was so full.  She got a quick look, told me she thought things looked good preliminarily, and told me to empty my bladder.  She said it didn't need to be full anymore because I was far enough along.  I was so surprised because I have never heard that before!

When I got back to the table she started checking again.  She quickly showed us the baby and told us the heart was beating at a nice 175 bpm.  She showed us the head and umbilical cord.  It was surreal.  My husband and I just stared in awe at the screen.  I started to tear up a little.  The radiologist came in and confirmed that the baby looked great.  Measuring slightly ahead at 9.3 weeks.  She asked how far we had made it and I told her only to 8.5 weeks.  She happily congratulated us on getting past that mark.

We met with my RE afterwards and she seemed thrilled (well as thrilled as I have ever heard her sound).  She told me that she needed to release me to my OB.  I told her I was on the fence about staying with the hospital or going back to my OB so she gave me a few referrals at the Maternal Fetal Medicine practice that take infertility patients that have not necessarily exhibited the need for a high risk doctor.  We told her that we would need to discuss it and would figure it out.  She recommended another scan in 2 weeks for my piece of mind.  She shook our hands and told me to call her after I was done breastfeeding and she would put me back on Femara should I want to try for another.  I hope I do not see her for at least a year or more!

Today was one of the happiest days of my life.  I know that we still have a looooong way to go with this pregnancy, but I am feeling better about it today.  I don't have that intuition that I have had with every other pregnancy.  Although I am still anxious at times (especially before an appointment), I don't have that sinking feeling that something is wrong.  I hope my intuition is right.  I would be so curious to know if anyone else has had intuition one way or another with a pregnancy (failed or successful)?  If you did was it right?

One more question to ponder... If you were me, would you stick with the MFM practice at a well known hospital or would you go back to your friendly OB?  The MFM practice is closer to work.  My OB is closer to home.

Here are some pics if you are interested (scroll to the bottom 2 pictures)!  Thanks again everyone for the continued support.  This little one is going to have lots of aunties!  :)

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11 Responses to “Ultrasound #3”

  1. Wow D thats fantastic! I am so happy for you :)

    Yes I totally believe in the intuition. We know our bodies, and they are always trying to tell us when something is wrong, so be happy and enjoy the feeling of safety. :)

  2. This is so exciting!! I too have that anxiety before every appointment and I'm now 16 weeks. I think that is normal after experiencing loss though, or at least that is what I tell myself. ;) Congratulations on this milestone!!
    If I were you I would go back to friendly OB and try to do my best to live like a "normal" pregnant woman unless the need for a MFM arises. This is a big reason we opted for a midwife. After going through so much intervention to get and stay pregnant it was important to me to have a more natural approach to the pregnancy and birth process. That said, if you feel like seeing a MFM doc will help reduce your anxiety, go for it. It's all about what feels right to you.

  3. Yea...i totally had intuition with my first two pregnancies that ended in miscarriage...this one...although the anxiety was really high at times i felt more confortable with. I say trust ur gut! Congrats on a great ultrasound!!

  4. Oh wow the pictures are amazing! I held my breath through this post. I am so thrilled everything is going so well.

    My intuition was right. Even though things seemed fine I always had a feeling something was wrong. I ignored it and wrote it off as normal pregnancy jitters. But I knew. I think your intuition is the strongest tie you have to the truth right now. Which is good!!

    I'm an HGTV addict! I have to turn the tv off right at the end of a show because if you see the beginning of anything on that channel you have to see how it turns out.

  5. Best news ever!!! So happy for you! You should feel good about this little one...he/she (she with that wonderfully speedy little heartbeat?) has been a rock star so far and everything is progressing perfectly. I know how hard it is to relax and enjoy being PGAL, but hopefully all of this good news will help. Just live in the moment and enjoy every second of that miracle growing inside of you. As for your OB/MFM decision, one other thing that I wanted to mention was that my experience with a MFM (whom I saw for NT scan, Level 2 U/S, amnio, growth U/S, Biophysical profiles) was much less personal and, honestly some of the less pleasant experiences of my pregnancies, so I might be more inclined to see your friendly O/B. As a previous commenter mentioned, sometimes it's nice just to feel like a normal pregnant person. But, you should definitely choose whoever you feel must comfortable with. Either way, I'm sure you will receive excellent care. Congrats again! Love you guys!

  6. For both of my pregnancies, I've felt a sense of doom for the first trimester -- one time I was right but one time I was wrong (thank God!), so I don't always trust my intuition. But I'm so happy that you are feeling good and that your u/s went beautifully. Congrats!

  7. Yaaaaaay! So happy you passed the previous unpassed. THIS IS IT.

  8. I am so thrilled for you! Congrats, so glad you had a fantastic u/s.

  9. I would probably go to the MFM, but I tend to lean on the conservative side for these things. With the triplets, I had a very hard time picturing us with the babies but I bet a lot of people who had successful triplet pregnancies would say they felt the same way during the pregnancy. Before I found out there were three, I was super nervous about a first trimester miscarriage. Then for some reason after my first ultrasound that fear completely went away. The only problem I had was with wrapping my head around how hard it was going to be to take care of three babies.

    So glad things look good for you!!

  10. Just chiming in to say that most MFM's are not full-care OB's. I see mine regularly but I also have to see a regular OB (right now they are alternating so I see each of them once a month but see a doctor every two weeks). I was told that in general MFM's are just "consulting" doctors but do not do all the standard OB care, so you may need to see both anyway.

  11. I'm so happy that everything is continuing to go so well for you. You're right, there's still a long way to go, but take one day after another and you'll get there in the end.