As you can see, my blogging has gotten pretty sparse lately.  I knew having a baby would make me have less time for things like writing, but I think I grossly underestimated how much less time I would have.  When I do have a free minute I tend to do things like throw laundry in, do the dishes, make the bed, get dressed, go to the bathroom, call my grandma to thank her for my birthday present 2 weeks late...

The crazy thing is that I have a ton of stuff to write about.  I am going to try to make a better effort to write out all of these posts that I am thinking of writing, but for now I am just going to give an update since I have exactly 1/2 hour before I have to feed baby B and go to bed.

Baby B
I can't believe that he will be 6 weeks old on Thursday.  He is awesome and amazing.  Cute and snuggly.  He smells so good.  He is a great eater, but spits up quite a bit and is pretty gassy.  He is very strong and can lift his head and move it around with almost no support.  He is also extremely fussy!  He loves to be held all of his waking hours.  I went out and bought some gripe water to help with his fussiness.  I am still not sure if it is helping or not, but he does seem a little happier.  He also likes the stroller, taking rides in the car, and being toted in the M.oby wrap.  He is growing like a weed.  At his 1 month appointment he weighed 11.1 lbs (up from 9.5 lbs, 2 weeks earlier) and he is now 22 inches.  He is only sleeping about 3 hours (at the most) consecutively at night.  Needless to say, mommy is pretty tired.  He likes a pacifier sometimes, but tends to spit it out after a few minutes.  His fav paci so far has been the S.oothie, but we introduced the N.uk and it seems to stay in his mouth better.  He loves having a bath!  He also loves being swaddled in the S.waddle M.e wrap, which I would STRONGLY recommend.  It makes swaddling in the middle of the night so much easier.  He likes newborn music class!  He will laugh and smile if you catch him in a good mood and squeak his soft rattle.  Seeing his smile makes all of the shit that I went through over the past years worth every last sucky minute.

Breastfeeding
Still going...!  Things have gotten much easier.  B is definitely getting enough to eat as he has gained quite a bit (78 percentile).  My only real issues, which are opposite of the issues I though I would have...oversupply and overactive letdown.  When B goes to latch I literally make him choke with my fire-hose of a letdown.  Sometimes I pump a little off first, but I can't do that in the middle of the night.  Last night I tried hand expressing some milk before feeding him in the middle of the night and I can shoot a stream of milk several feet in front of me.  The lactation consultant that I saw last Friday told me to lay off the oatmeal and M.other's M.ilk tea.  Oh and the lactation cookies that I made were unnecessary, I guess.  I have started pumping at least once a day to save up for when I go back to work.  It is hard to find time to pump since B is very demanding, but I want to start introducing a bottle to him at 6 weeks.  I don't anticipate an issue, but I guess I have been wrong about everything so far.  We'll see.

Thyroid/Diabetes
I had an appointment at the Endocrinologist last Tuesday and they checked my TSH and A1C.  My TSH was only 1.01, so I am thinking that she will tell me that I can discontinue my 25 mcg of levothyroxine.    My A1C was 4.8, which was pretty good and equals an average glucose level of around 94.  I still have my 2 hour GTT in a week and a half so I am hoping that turns out ok.  I am still pretty conscious of my diet and I eat way less carbs that I did before.  I have cut out pasta and bread almost completely.  That said, I have been eating cereal and having treats here and there.  I was good for so long, I think I deserve some indulgence.

Postpartum Recovery
Physically, I feel so much better now than I did a few weeks ago.  I still have about 10 lbs to lose, but I have heard that you need to keep on some weight to be an efficient milk producer, so I am ok with that.  I don't think I look overweight so I am fine with it.  What I am NOT ok with is my stomach.  It is completely wrecked.  I have serious stretch marks and my belly button is gross.  I could write a whole post about this, and probably will at some point.  I have diastasis recti.  From my unscientific diagnosis, I have about a 4-5 finger separation of my ab muscles. I went from 6-pack abs to a sagging pouch of a stomach with a huge indentation in the middle.  It has caused me quite a but of depression.  I hate looking in the mirror, it makes me so upset.  I did some research online and asked friends for recommendations and I found a physical therapy program that rehabs women with this condition.  I am going for my first appointment in a week and a half.  I can't wait.  My scar looks great though.  It is almost invisible to me.  I don't mind it at all.  I have no traces of the PUPPPs rash...thank goodness.  I have been walking with B and my dog.  My bleeding stopped about 2 weeks ago and now it is just annoying (TMI) yellow discharge.  Enough for liners 24/7.  I will be so glad when I can stop wearing a liner!  I have been through my entire pregnancy, too!  My doctor prescribed me the mini-pill, but I have not started taking it yet.  I really don't want to take it, but I also don't want to get pregnant any time soon.  Knowing my luck, I would get pregnant with a take home baby if we had sex.  Speaking of sex, we still have not undertaken that activity yet.  I am waiting until my 6 week pp doctors visit before we do it, just to be safe.  I am mentally looking forward to it, but not physically.  I am worried that I'll be in pain.

Other Stuff
I officially signed up for the NYC Marathon.  Yes, I am nuts.  My husband got me a personal running coach and class for my birthday, along with a new pair of sneaks!  I am waiting for my 6 week pp appointment to get the go ahead, but I am not sure they will even let me start running yet and I am not sure I want to run yet.  I feel like my organs might migrate out through the whole in my abs.  Gross.

The dog has been great with the baby.  He is protective and watches B when I leave him in his swing and have to run upstairs.  He likes to lick his head, which we don't let him do often, but occasionally.  :)  The cats have been a huge pain in the ass, though.  They have already scratched up his lovely glider and love to climb in his crib and pack and play with any opportunity that they get.  We have to keep the doors closed, which sucks.  I hope they get better, but I have a feeling this is just cats being cats.

Lastly, I got my medical bill from my 6 days stay...$55,000.  Wowzers.  Thank goodness I am only responsible for $500 of it.  Can't imagine what would happen if I didn't have insurance.

Alright my grace period has expired.  My boobs are telling me that B is hungry.  He is still asleep so he doesn't know it yet, but he will as soon as I pick him up.  Now I need to catch up on my blog list!  I still read when I am breastfeeding, but do it on my iPad, so it is hard for me to comment.  I am still following along with you ladies though.  :)  I hope you are all doing well!

Normally, I am not excited to go to a doctor appointment.  Yesterday, I was excited to see my Endocrinologist to discuss my borderline 3 hour GTT and my difficulty controlling my fasting numbers.  When I called last week, I was shocked that they were able to get me in so fast and it worked out perfectly because I also had the day off work.

When I got to the office, I didn't really need to wait at all, which was nice.  As soon as I went in I got my A1C tested.  They also checked my weight, which was 140, so I am up 21 total and only up 1 lb in the last 3 weeks.  Thank you low carb diet.  My blood pressure and pulse were both normal.

The doctor came in and told me that my A1C was great at 4.8.  She said this means that the diet it working.  She looked at my sheet with all of my numbers on it and she was happy with most of them.  I told her that I was concerned about my fasting numbers.  She told me that, while she would like to see them below 90 that they were not that bad and that my 1 hour post meals were so good.  The one suggestion she made was possibly putting me on Metformin if I felt like it was getting to hard to control (or insulin shots at night if my MFM doctor thought that was safer).  She told me to talk to my MFM doctor first and have them call her to discuss, if necessary.  She mentioned Glyburide, but said that she doesn't like that drug because she doesn't think it works well.

She also told me to stop being so hard on myself.  She said I was doing everything right and that because my 1 hour post meals were so good, that I didn't need to test every day.  She suggested every-other-day (or randomly 1 hour after meals) and maybe continue checking the fasting daily.  I am totally fine with that.  My freaking fingers hurt.

While I was there they also had me test my TSH (1.16) and FT4 (0.7), which were both normal.  She asked me to stay on the same dosage of Levo.  They will test me again around 37 weeks.

I feel better after going to see her.  She made me feel a lot better and told me that the chances were high that I would go back to normal once the pregnancy was over.

Overall, I think I am doing better.  I have a therapy appointment today, which I am looking forward to.  We got most of our nursery furniture delivered yesterday, minus the armoire, which got crushed during the delivery.  It looks great.  I can't wait to get the room completed and show you all what it looks like.  We are also looking to trade in my 8 1/2 year old car in for a family car.  We are thinking Outback, Venza, or maybe CRV.  We test drove an Outback last weekend and I loved it!  Heated seats, Sirius Radio, navigation, leather...so much nicer than my car.  Having a car payment will suck, but with a dog and a baby, I will need the space!

I still have breakdowns every now and again and I think my hormones are just going nuts.  I am trying to be less hard on myself.  I strive for perfection and when I can't get perfection, I tend to freak out.  My husband is better at dealing with those types of setbacks than I am.  I guess that is why we are good for each other. :)  28 1/2 weeks!  I can do this!!

Thanks for all of the thyroid advice!!!  I decided that it was best to start them ASAP, especially since the endocrinologist can't even see me until November.  They are going to try to get me in before then, via a cancellation, but who knows how long that will take.  I go back in 4 weeks for another TSH test.

I started taking 25 mcg of Levothyroxine, first thing in the AM.  It has definitely thrown my whole schedule off for a few reasons.  I usually take my vitamins first thing in the morning (I have been doing this for almost 2 years now) and then eat breakfast.  With this medicine, you are supposed to wait 4 hours before taking any calcium or iron supplements, both of which are contained within my prenatal.  I have started to take my vitamins at lunch and may end up transitioning to before bed if I find I am forgetting.

The pharmacist told me that this medicine might make me jittery.  So far it actually seems to be doing the opposite.  Yesterday I worked from home and took a 2 hour nap at lunch.  I guess this medicine can also make your hair fall out, which is pleasant.  I did notice that I lost a few extra strands this morning.  Oh well, I am hoping that the good outweighs the bad in this scenario.

Other than getting my thyroid under control, I actually started to feel sick last Thursday.  It seems to come in waves.  I'll feel fine for a little while and then all of a sudden feel like I could throw up.  It is worse when I am faced with a food choice and first thing in the AM.  Nothing really sounds good, but I know that the more frequently that I eat, the better I feel so I am trying to just eat and not think about it.  I woke up feeling pretty bad this morning.  It pretty much felt like a bad hangover.  Headache and nausea.  I pulled out my Sea Bands and so far they seem to be helping a little.

As crazy as it sounds to say this, I am so incredibly happy to be feeling sick at only 6 weeks.  I didn't feel at all sick with my last 2 miscarriages.  I did have food aversions with my first miscarriage (couldn't touch veggies) and craved carbs and cheese.  I threw up on the day of my doomed ultrasound, but I still don't know if that was from being so anxious or morning sickness.  I think it was the nerves.

This time I don't have any straight out aversions yet, just pretty much nothing seems to sound good and I feel queasy all the time.  My boobs are on and off sore, but mostly just feel heavy and full.  I am still having mild cramping off and on and some creamy CM.  That's about it.  Hopefully that is good?

Next up is my ultrasound on Friday.  Very nervous for that as you might have already guessed.

Quick update on my TSH troubles.  So I had not heard back from my RE this morning so I called my PCP.  I told her nurse about my miscarriage riddled past few months and about my slightly elevated TSH.  She agreed to talk to the doctor right away and get back to me.

In the time that it took me to wait for her call back, I got a call back from my RE's nurse.  She mentioned that my RE was out for the rest of the week, but that she emailed back that there was no harm in treating me if it would make me feel better.  They called in a prescription for 25 mg of some type of thyroid regulating medication that I am to pick up today after work and take every day.  She mentioned that I should come back in 3-4 weeks to get retested.  I thanked her for her call back and hung up the phone.  I was feeling relieved already.

Almost immediately after getting off the phone with her, my PCP's nurse called me back.  Apparently my PCP thinks that I should see an endocrinologist ASAP (under the circumstances).  She gave me 2 endocrinologist references and asked if I had any more questions.  I really couldn't think of any other than my shock that 2 doctors could have such differing opinions on one TSH level. 

Once again the medical profession has left me feeling confused and alone.  If I had not asked to have my thyroid checked on Tuesday I would not have even known about this.  If I didn't have Dr. G.oogle and good friends who have had similar issues, I would not have followed up after getting the test results back to ask for treatment.  If I had not called my PCP, I might not have even contemplated seeing an endocrinologist.  Does anyone else have issues like this or is it just me?  Am I just too anal when it comes to my health? 

On a side note, I emailed the psychologist from my support group this morning to tell her that I am pregnant and that I don't feel comfortable telling anyone but her.  I told her I was on the fence about coming to the session tonight because I feel awkward and untruthful.  I asked if she could call me to discuss.  I have not heard back from her yet.  If I don't hear back from her, I don't think I am going to go tonight.  I hope she calls me back.

So my RE's nurse called me back this afternoon with the results of my TSH results.  I was just scrambling to head to a meeting where I was presenting to the group and I was incredibly flustered.  I should have let the call go to voicemail, but instead I picked it up and with my co-worker right next to me.  She told me that my TSH level was 3.28 and that she had asked my RE if I should start treatment and my RE said no, that I was fine without treatment.  I didn't really have time to think about this and couldn't mention my pregnancy in front of my co-worker, so I thanked the nurse for calling me back and headed to my meeting.

After my meeting I first consulted Dr. G.oogle who felt it necessary to tell me that the normal levels during pregnancy are as follows (from about.com):

First Trimester: 0.24-2.99
Second Trimester: 0.46-2.95
Third Trimester: 0.43-2.78

So umm yeah, I am totally over the limit for pregnancy.  Not by a crazy tremendous margin, but I am over nonetheless.  Having an elevated TSH, or being even mildly hypothyroid can cause miscarriage or other later problems such as preeclampsia, placental abruption, and low birth weight.  Not things I'd ever like to experience, thank you very much.

I consulted with 2 friends who have have bee treated for mild thyroid issues during pregnancy.  One has been through 2 consecutive losses and was put on thyroid medication when she became pregnant with her daughter with a level of around 3.  She actually consulted with her PCP since her OB would not treat her.  My other friend who is currently pregnant and went to the same fertility clinic as me had a level of less than 3 and was put on thyroid medication.  So the same freaking RE's office put her on thyroid meds with lower levels than me!  WTF?!

For a better reference point, check out my previously tested TSH levels:

1/10/12: 2.50 (not pregnant)
8/31/11: 1.41 (was pregnant)
6/24/11: 2.87 (not pregnant)

So clearly being pregnant this time has caused a jump in my TSH.  I am not a doctor and I can see that.

I called back my RE's office and left a message asking to speak to the doctor about why she decided NOT to treat me.  I am going to express to her my concern that I don't know what caused my first 2 losses and that I'd like to be more safe than sorry.  I am more than likely certain mild hypothyroidism did not cause any of my losses, but why gamble, right?

Does anyone have experience with this?  I would LOVE to hear any and all advice.