You may be wondering what the heck dyspareunia is.  Sounds like a really bad disease.  Luckily it is just a fancy word for painful intercourse, something that I have unfortunately become a victim of.  I made a return to my old GYN this morning.  It was weird going to the place where I last went 2 years ago to have a D&C on such different terms.  Sitting in the waiting room amongst many preggos and babies, I finally felt at peace.  No anger, no sadness, no frustration.  I even made friends with the cutest 15 month old baby.

I definitely confused the heck out the medical staff with my current situation.  The last time I saw them was in December of 2011.  I had my second miscarriage and was there for a follow-up where the doctor proceeded to tell me that there was nothing wrong with me and to keep trying.  Well, thanks to the fact that I have a PPO, I made the decision to see a RE on my own and did not tell them.  One miscarriage, several months of fertility treatment, a pregnancy, and a c-section later, I was back.  Because their medical system is not on the same system as the RE/OB that I was seeing, I had to hash out the long and painful story of the last year and a half in medical terms, twice (once to the nurse and once to the doctor).

I thought I would get a lecture about how I should not have taken matters into my own hands, but the nurse didn't really care and the doctor was really nice and understanding.  He spent a lot of time trying to understand what I had gone through.  I think we talked for at least 20 minutes about everything.

He took a look at my incision and said it looked fine.  He commented on how low it was but made the inference that, based on the situation with B getting stuck in my pelvis, was the reason.  Next I had the lovely metal speculum inserted (OUCH!) so that they could do a culture to make sure I did not have some type of infection.  After that was the lovely internal exam.  He did a few tests to see where I felt the pain.  It ended up being at the back of my vag/perineum area where I whelped in pain.  He felt around my uterus and cervix to feel for adhesions or obvious scar tissue sticking out, but he found nothing, which was good.  I also had no pain associated with that part of the exam, which he said was good.

Based on the exam he made the assumption that my issue is muscle tension from lack of use (haha) and now mental association causing the muscles to tense even more after having had one painful experience.  Basically, now I am expecting it to hurt so I am not enjoying it and not relaxing the muscles.  He also said that the mini-pill and breastfeeding will kill your desire along with exhaustion.  He mentioned that it was a myth that all women are "ready" for sex again 6 weeks postpartum.  He said it usually takes much longer.  Even after making this "diagnosis" he decided that he still wants me to have an ultrasound on 8/30 to make sure I don't have anything else going on that he can't feel.  Basically, because of my 2 D&Cs and c-section my uterus could have some scarring that would be better found now rather than later when I want to try to get pregnant again.  Fine by me.

So I guess the good news is that there doesn't appear to be anything seriously wrong with me.  I guess I'll find out for sure in a few weeks.  The doctor told me to use lots of lube (duh) and to work at it slowly when I am not stressed out.  Haha.  I am always stressed about something!  

Picture this...you've been through your 3rd miscarriage in 7 months.  You have recovered physically and finally feel like your body is starting to feel "normal" again.  Mentally, you are starting to round the corner from grief, sadness, and despair to the road of acceptance, peace, and hope.  You feel like the bleak days of the past are behind you and you are finally looking forward to the future again.  Then you open the mailbox and find a $500 bill from the hospital for your last D&C (dilation and curettage).  Just like a ton of bricks it hits you...ugh this really did happen.

I am actually quite lucky when it comes to medical bills.  I have great insurance and my company, very generously, reimburses my co-pays, which in this case will be $500.  I can't imagine if I didn't have insurance.  We would have to take out a second mortgage or I would have to start stripping (jk).  Here is the breakdown of the cost:

Pharmacy- $66.85
Other Pharmacy- $1.36
Medical/Surgical Supplies- $332.50
Laboratory Services- $769.00
Operating Room Services- $7,774.00
Recovery Room- $890.00

GRAND TOTAL: $9,833.71

Multiply this by 2...yikes.  Actually my first D&C was at least 2-3 thousand dollars more for some reason.  They were both performed under different doctors and at different hospitals so I guess that there is a lot of variation between them.  I have heard from several people that it costs more money to have a dead baby removed them to give birth to a live baby.  How utterly sad is that?  I pray that the next time I need to go to the hospital, that it is to give birth to a healthy little baby.