Breathing deeply

Monday, August 6, 2012

Thanks so much for the nice wishes and support everyone.  I am still sort of in a state of confusion.  I am very happy and excited but somewhat paralyzed by my fear and anxiety of another miscarriage.  I am trying to hard to be optimistic this time, but it is tough.  I think I am doing better, though, all things considered.  I now have sore boobs, I am peeing a lot, and have I mild cramping and pulling pain in my stomach.  I am going to try to take these as good signs. 

Yesterday we had a day long group therapy session with husbands included.  I was surprised that I didn't have to beg my husband to go.  He went quite willingly.  It was a little awkward for me, having just found out I was pregnant the day before, but I have decided that I am not ready to tell anyone in the group yet.  We actually signed an agreement that we would tell the group leader first if we found out we were pregnant.  She will then tell our buddy first and then we can decide when to tell the rest of the group.  I haven't decided when I am going to tell her.  I am definitely not there yet.

Back to the session from yesterday...We started out the day introducing ourselves to the group again, since many of the men were there for the first time.  After that we did 90 minutes of Hatha yoga with our husbands.  It sounds kind of cheesy, but it was really nice.  We also did some couples massage.  It was quite relaxing and enjoyable.  The teacher was really good and very patient with many of the first time yogis.

After the session we had lunch and then we watched a video called "The Joy of Stress" by Loretta LaRoche.  It was quite humorous and made even more humorous by the look of the people sitting in the audience.  If you want a good stress relieving laugh, I would recommend watching this.

After the video we each got large sheets of paper and were asked to draw our life on a timeline with the past, present, and future included.  Then we were supposed to share it with our husbands.  My husband and I both we reminded how lacking me are in the drawing department, but we had fun putting everything on paper.  The point of exercise was to show that what is happening right now in your life is just a blip on the radar compared to everything else that you have experienced and will experience.  I definitely understood the point when I saw the sad events in my life as small slices of a much larger pie.

Our last exercise of the day required each couple to head off in a different direction for some quiet and privacy.  We each spent time talking about something we learned/loved about the other person, something we learned/loved about ourselves, and then something we learned/loved about us as a couple.  It was a really nice way to end the day.  We both felt nice and relaxed afterwards and glad that we went.

Today I have acupuncture and another group session tonight.  I am pretty tired, but know that both of these events will help me.  I am going to go in for my first beta tomorrow morning.  I feel my anxiety kicking in as I write this.  Ugh.  I hate going there!  I am trying to tell myself that there is very little I can do other than eat healthy, get rest, get light exercise, and relax.  I can't prevent another chromosomal problem at this point.  What will be, will be.  Hopefully what I have done up until now has made this embryo healthy and sticky.  

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3 Responses to “Breathing deeply”

  1. Tired is a good sign. Thinking of you this week and still sending good vibes your way. Just keep breathing all the way through that beta test I just know it will be great!

  2. Hang in there! You deserve this... Be happy! :)

  3. I know exactly how you feel! Good luck and great thoughts for beta #1