Deep breath....
Sorry for the delay in this post. Crazy morning for me. As you can see, my temp was still up this morning so I decided that I would finally put those tests to use. I honestly did not have my hopes up because, other than slightly sore breasts this morning, I don't have any real symptoms to speak of. I even had some AF like cramps on and off yesterday. Also my chart isn't triphasic and when I search for "Charts Like Mine" in FF, I get 64% ovulatory charts. But, I digress.
I didn't sleep well last night and woke up 4 times to pee (and drank lots of water in between) so I was worried that my urine would be too diluted even if by some crazy chance I was pregnant. Even still, nervous and trying to repeat over and over to myself not to get my hopes up, I put on my big girl panties and peed in my favorite cup (sorry, that sounds so gross). Definitely diluted urine. Crap. I dunked my FRER and Wondfo into the cup anyways and then covered both of the tests with a towel and went to check my email without getting worked up. Yeah, right.
I gave the tests about 5 minutes and then went back to check them out. Imagine me, totally shaking, as I flipped up the towel and saw this...
Holy flipping flip.
My first thought was, can I really handle this roller coaster again? The betas, the ultrasounds, the checking for blood every time I go to the bathroom, the worry, the anxiety? I sent my husband a picture of the test with a caption of "OMG". He had to go into work early this morning. He sent back a smiley. I am sure he is scared shitless, just like me.
I am so excited that I ovulated at a time that a normal person would ovulate and got a positive pregnancy test at the time a normal person would get one. Man, I wish this would guarantee me a sticky baby.
For now, before calling the doctor, I am going to try to enjoy a few days of post-BFP bliss. Some people might call me crazy for not calling the doctor right away, but I just feel like I need some time to digest all of this and be happy for a few minutes before all of the beta analyzing starts. Maybe I will call the doctor mid-week. Maybe, not. I'm not sure. Anyone who has experienced a miscarriage knows that the positive pregnancy test is exciting and wonderful, but it is the next few weeks that are the most trying.
This is my 4th positive pregnancy test in a year. It sounds crazy even writing that. One of the girls at my therapy session last week told me that she was jealous that I have been pregnant several times even though they all ended in miscarriage. She was crying as said she would rather have had miscarriages than never have been pregnant like herself. That was hard for me to hear. I know some might not want to stick around to read and support me because it is so hard to cheer someone on when you are still waiting in the wings. I get it, believe me. If it is too hard for you, do what you have to do. That said, I still really need all of the support that I can get in the next few months so please don't leave me. I am scared out of my mind. I am still praying for you all every day, too. I am thinking about all of the amazing people that I have met in the few months that I have been writing. I seriously love all of you girls to death!
I am praying for a miracle here. Please keep me in your prayers, everyone. Pray that this baby decides to stick around to meet my husband and I. This baby is so incredibly wanted and loved already. :)
Yay!!!! I am so freaking happy for you. I know this is just step one on a very long road but it is a big one. Take as much time as you want to enjoy it. Whoo hoooo! Sticky sticky sticky. I'm here for the whole thing! Congrats.
ReplyDeletePs that girl should have never said that about your miscarriages. She has no idea.
Thanks girlie! I am hoping that you have some good news in a few days! :)
DeleteCongrats, friend! Sending positive energy for a sticky bean!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! :)
DeleteYay! Great news! So happy for you!
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteCongrats! Prayers are being sent your way!
ReplyDeletePrayers are always welcome. Thank you! :)
DeleteNO WAY!!! So happy for you! I know how scary the first weeks are, but we have to get through them, right??? I will pray for you and hope you enjoy a few worry free days!
ReplyDeleteYes! We will get through them!! I will be praying for you, too!
DeleteCongratulations! Prayers and good vibes your way xx
ReplyDeleteThanks! :)
DeleteCongrats!! Enjoy the next few days of post-BFP bliss, definitely. Beta obsessing can wait. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, my dear! How wonderful to see these beautiful second pink lines. I'm sure you're worried about what the future may hold, but try to hold the excitement close. The fourth time must surely be the charm, and I am wishing you all the best.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm with Sunshine on what that girl said.
OMG is right...AMAZING. So happy for this good news and I'm praying for baby stickiness. Congrats!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd about what that girl said...I used to think the SAME thing, until I went through a miscarriage this spring and realized how wrong I was. Losing a baby has been so much harder for me, in so many ways. I'm so sorry she hurt you.
YEAH!!! Just checking in and was so thrilled to see this. YIPPEE!! Wishing you lots of sticky vibes and praying this time turns out different. xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh!!! I got my BFP Sunday and I remember the last time I read one of your posts we were exactly the same DPO so you must be due April 13th too! How awesome!!! Wishing you all the best and God bless your little bean!! :-)
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh!! I remember the last time I read one of your posts we were the same DPO and I got my BFP yesterday! I didn't have any symptoms either exept spotting on 13 dpo so I thought it was AF. So you are due April 13th too right? How awesome!! Praying for ya and best wishes for a happy healthy 9 months! I know it's scary right now but have faith, this could really be your miracle baby!
ReplyDeleteHOLY SHIT YOU'RE PREGNANT!!!!! Okay, now that I got that out of my system... ;) I am sticking around for sure (though I'm currently pregnant so it is less of a trigger for me to read pregnancy after IF/loss blogs at the moment). I will say, I once held the same belief that the woman in your support group did. After all, women who had miscarriages at least knew their body was capable of getting pregnant. That all changed after I experienced a miscarriage and I realized I would MUCH rather never know the pain of the excitement followed by crushing disappointment and loss. That to me is so much worse. Anyway, much love to you! Now I'm going to get caught up on the rest of your recent posts.
ReplyDeleteOMG...why didn't I comment on this! I totally thought I did. YAY!!!! Stick baby, stick!
ReplyDeleteThanks!! :)
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