Today's ultrasound went pretty well.  Thanks so much for the words of encouragement.  They mean so much to me, you have no idea.  I didn't achieve my full goal of #1, but I got close enough to it, I think.

The morning started off ok.  I got to the hospital an hour early since my husband had to drop me off on his way to a meeting.  I sat in the lobby and waited for my sister, who was about 40 minutes early.  I was so anxious when she got there that I had almost gone to throw up once and had peed about 3 times already.  She calmed me down and told me to remember to smile because I am pregnant.  I had to keep reminding myself this.

We made our way down to ultrasound about 10 minutes early.  I was seriously panicking as I walked through the hallway.  The hallway that I had cried in many times before.  It brought back more of those awful memories.  When we got to the ultrasound suite, though, I was happy and surprised to see that they had redone the entire area.  It looked nothing like I remembered it from my last visit so I immediately felt better.

My sister tried to make conversation with me while we waited to be called, but I was too busy fidgeting and biting my nails to really pay attention to what she was saying.  When the tech called my name I shot up and when she asked me how I was doing I sheepishly said ok.  Once we got into the newly finished ultrasound room, the tech asked me about cramping and bleeding and I was so confused.  Apparently they had gotten my charts confused and she had the one from my last failed pregnancy.  She profusely apologized for the mishap and definitely made up for things following that. She asked about the miscarriages and I explained them to her and told her I was seriously anxious about this because I had never had a good ultrasound.  She reassured me that she would talk me through everything.

She started with the abdominal ultrasound even though I told her I was only 5 weeks 3 days.  I told her she wouldn't see anything, but she insisted that it was protocol.  To my surprise, she did see something.  A nice large sac.  She could see much detail though, so she told me to put on a gown and that she would come back with the radiologist for a closer look.  Once I was disrobed and in the stirrups, she inserted the wand and easily found the sac again, this time with a yolk.  She told me I was measuring perfectly for 5 weeks 4 days (I was confused about the dating, but she said it was normal to be off) and the radiologist (who was the head of radiology) said it was a perfect looking crisp sac w/ yolk (my sister teased me about my crisp sac all the way home).  I didn't believe them so I kept asking if they were sure.  They reassured me that this was perfect for where I was and that coming back in a week should yield a heartbeat.

After the ultrasound, my sis and I headed up to my RE's office where I was having my appointment with the nurse.  The office was packed with people, but I was able to get in fairly quickly.  The nurse confirmed what I had heard from the radiologist, said everything looked great, and asked me if I was breathing a sigh of relief.  I told her I had many more weeks before that and she agreed that in my position it would be more difficult.  She offered to have my TSH checked at my request.  She also said she didn't want to see me for 2 weeks because she didn't think it was necessary.  I was totally fine with that.  The less I have to go back there, the better, as far as I am concerned.

We had trouble making my follow-up due to the overbooked schedule of my doctor, so the admin said she would call me back.  I didn't hear back from her today, so I will call her tomorrow.

So, I guess I am feeling ok about today.  We didn't see a fetal pole, but no one even mentioned that or seemed concerned.  My research with ultrasound pictures on Fertility Friend showed many, many ultrasounds that looked like mine that were either 5 1/2 weeks or even up to 6 weeks.  That made me feel better.  I am hoping and praying that in 2 weeks we will see the little flicker of a heartbeat.  Come on little one...you can do it!!!

*Note: If you want to see a picture, click here.  I have decided to stop posting pregnancy related photos to my direct homepage so you don't have to look at them if it is too hard (not that this first one is really much of anything, but I think you know what I mean).