Father's Day weekend

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day has been a hard day for me since losing my dad.  In the first few years after he passed, I would really hate the day.  I would talk to my mom and we would pray for Monday together.  Not having your dad on Father's Day is tough.

This year was interesting.  My husband and I drove down to visit his sister, her fiance, and his Dad.  We had dinner together.  We shared nice conversation.  We shared several bottles of wine (yes, I broke my promise to Dr. Zhang).  My husband's Dad's (3rd) wife was in rare form.  She started talking to me about how she was so depressed.  She said her weight combined with the fact that they have no money has made her very miserable.  She mentioned that she had started drinking again.  Then she told me that she hadn't had sex with my FIL in 2 years.  OMG.  Totally didn't want to know that.  Now comes the really bad part of all of this...she told me that she was thinking about killing herself.  She said that no one would care (except maybe her husband & her adopted son) and she was feeling so hopeless.  I didn't even know how to respond to her.  Meanwhile everyone else was drinking and having fun.  She said she felt like she could talk to me for some reason.  Somehow I always find myself in these types of situations.  Probably because I am a good listener and tend to keep my mouth shut even when I would like to open it and say something.

Now my husband and his sister pretty much despise her.  They see her as a "blood-sucking leech".  I could go on for hours describing her and her dynamic with the two of them, but I won't bore you all with the details.  I'll just say that since she and my FIL have been together I have seen him change quite a bit from a self-sufficient and strong willed individual to flat broke and passive.  She pretty much does all of the talking for both of them.  When I told my husband and SIL, what she had said to me, they both said "let her do it".  Ugh.  I mean I am not a fan of her, but I do feel bad that she feels so low.  I have felt like I didn't want to live before and it is terrible.  I am not quite sure what to do in this scenario.

When she and my FIL were getting ready to leave after dinner, she gave me a hug and told me thanks for listening.  I kind of just shrugged my shoulders because I wasn't sure what kind of response to give her.

We all met for brunch this morning before we headed back.  We had a nice time and my FIL's wife seemed in better spirits.  Her son came along so I think that helped her.  After brunch we were all hugging and saying goodbye.  She gave me a hug and told me that she was feeling much better now and she said "I'm all good".  She asked me if I was good.  She knows about my miscarriages.  She had 13 (or at least that is what she told me) and was never able to have her own children because she finally got her tubes removed.  I told her I was good, too, not really knowing what that meant.  I guess maybe our conversation last night helped her in some way?  I know my husband and SIL hate her, and like I said, I will never be a fan, but I would never want anyone I know to kill themselves.  Even someone I don't like.

I asked my husband how he was doing today.  He mentioned that he was feeling a little sad, but asked me how I was doing.  I am praying so hard that next year we will be able to celebrate Father's Day, in his honor.

So yeah that was my Father's Day weekend.  I am glad tomorrow is Monday and we won't have any of these holidays for a while.

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One Response to “Father's Day weekend”

  1. I'm sorry your Dad is no longer here. It must make the holiday so much more difficult.

    As for your FIL's third wife, well, even if she is a horrible person, it sounds like she's in a lot of pain. Perhaps you should let somebody know what she's talking about, like your FIL? He could help her get the help it sounds like she might need.