Just breathe

Friday, June 22, 2012

Yesterday I woke up in a terrible mood and all because of one stupid thing, my temperature.  It is amazing how I can let something like a temperature ruin almost an entire day.  I would love to say that this is the first time that this has happened to me, but that wouldn't be true.  There have been many times in the past 6 months where my temperature has caused me so much stress, anger, and confusion.  What has my life come to?!

Explaining how I feel to anyone who isn't temping or hasn't temped wouldn't make any sense.  So many people I know tell me to stop doing it and to stop trying.  I am not going to even get into the whole "stop trying and it will happen" thing or the "I know someone who adopted and then got pregnant".  Temping is one of the only things that I feel, in my situation, helps me feel like I have some perceived level of control.  The past year of my life has been so outside of my control, so it feel like being able to at least track what my body is doing helps give me some comfort.  I know I really have no control over what my body does (that is obvious to me at this point!), but I know when/if I have ovulated and when I am going to get my period.

We put the cats in the basement last night so I had a much better night's sleep.  I slept until just a little while before my alarm went off at 4:30 AM.  I took my temp and then went right back to sleep.  I am a big fan of the recall button.  I am working from home today so I got to go back to sleep for another 2 hours.  When I woke up I was filled with so much anxiety about what my temp would be.  Turns out it was much higher.  Now I am thinking that I may have ovulated yesterday and my temp from Wednesday was a fluke because of my quick illness.  I have not yet thrown out a temperature, but I am thinking of doing that with Wednesday's.  Advice would be appreciated!

Today is a better day.  I have a little more hope for this cycle even though I have a feeling that this isn't going to be it.  It is Friday, we are going out with friends tonight, it is going to be a nice and warm weekend.  Now I just need to remember to breathe.  I shouldn't let me days be defined by a wacky temperature.  There is so much more to life than that.

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10 Comments »

10 Responses to “Just breathe”

  1. Yeah! I was excited to see the temp spike in your tiny thumbnail. After all the sex, I'm sure you had millions of those guys hanging out waiting for that egg to drop. Good work, ovaries, good work.

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    1. Thanks! :-) I am hoping that my temps stay up now...just a waiting game. I guess rather than cursing my ovaries I should encourage them. I don't want them to get angry with me and stop working completely. Haha.

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  2. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and linking to it on your sidebar! Charting became impossible for me at a certain point. Not only because it affected my mood for the whole day, but also because with PCOS it was just a neverending mountain range. :P I wish you so much luck!

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  3. Thanks for stopping by my blog! I hope things turn out okay for you soon! My natropath has said that amazing things are being discovered with fermented cod-liver oil. It is supposed to help ovarian function. I am not sure if it was stirctly the gluten free diet or if the fermented cod-liver oil did it for me, but I went from having ridiculously high fsh levels to getting pregnant in less than 2 months. Not sure where you can find it except from a natropath but look into it :) May be your secret weapon!

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    1. Wow that is very interesting stuff. I have never heard of cod liver oil to help with getting pregnant, but I am definitely into trying ANYTHING there days. I am going to do some more research! Thanks for the tip!

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  4. It looks like you ovulated on CD 16. I hope this is it for you!! I'm with you on a love/hate relationship with charting. I have a lot of anxiety related to my temperature, which seems so silly but it's very true.
    I look forward to following your journey.

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  5. Hi from ICLW! I so understand your need to temp. I always feel like knowledge is power and, even if I don't ovulate, I want to KNOW about it so I'm not just waiting around in the dark. With my last pregnancy, I was fairly convinced in the few days after ovulation that I hadn't ovulated at all because my temp dipped a few times. After about a week, it went high and stayed there, but it had me in a bad mood off and on for some time. So I know it's hard, but I would say wait it out and see what your temp does in the days ahead. I'm hoping this is it for you!!!

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  6. My post yesterday was pretty much exactly this. I had all the right signs EXCEPT for my temp. It doesn't cooperate. It's totally random. No pattern. It drives me insane. I know I had all the fertile signs but have no way to confirm that I ovulated anywhere close to when I inseminated.

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  7. Yay, throw out wednesday's temp! I let that stupid little number control my day everyday too. 2 tenths of a degree can bring such joy or anger. Crazy!

    On a different note: do you like having your comments set up so that we have to type in numbers and words to verify our human-ness? It doesn't keep me from commenting but it would be nicer if I didn't have to do that every time. I think you can change it in your settings.

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  8. People tell me to stop temping and it will take the stress out, but for me, honestly, I would feel MORE stressed if I didn't have any idea if or when I ovulated!

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